I am laughing at me. With you.

It's so much fun when you have a good hair day. I had one once. Best day of my life.
It totally sucks when you have a bad hair day. Or bad hair life.
What's even worse? When even a good hair day won't draw the attention away from whatever else you got going on with your head. That didn't happen to me. The good hair day part.

I'm telling you this for two reasons.
1.) I'm actually trying to give you a nudge to get your moles checked out. If you are my friend, you will do it for yourself.
2.) Because we should lighten up a serious topic.

I had a nudge from a serious situation. And then another from a friend. And I went in and had that really weird looking spot on my part checked out. Turns out, on a scale of 1 to 5: 1 being fine, normal and 5 being cancerous, mine was a 3. It turned out to be nothing (really) for me, yet. So I am glad I got those nudges. Thank you. I went in for a second biopsy to have more area removed. Because they didn't get it all the first time and I sure hope they did this time.
So.
Totally unprepared, because my first biopsy was painless, I underestimated how ridiculous I'd appear for the next few days.

Walking out of the clinic: I had headwrap on. Which, from a distance would look like the headbands that you see people sporting with their ponytails these days. Except I wasn't smart enough to bring in a binder, so I couldn't even pull that off. My hair just sort of hung awkwardly this way and that. Oh, and my hair was streaked with blue from the permanent marker they used to mark the area. (They made a mistake and had to redo it, turning my hair blue.) Add to it: one eyebrow higher than the other. Really. If I had just had a biopsy on the other side, too, then I could walk around looking surprised instead of suspicious/skeptical/whatever emotion one raised eyebrow represents. Anywho. Headwrap, check. One eyebrow raised, check. Oh. And. My eyelids on the one side of my face twitching from the numbing medicine. Nice.

The doc explained to me that within the next day or so, I would end up with either a black eye or a puffy eye. Like almost puffed shut. So when I woke up on Tuesday and my eye was not black, but starting to puff- I thought I was going with the puffy eye. What actually happened was that my forehead became paralyzed and puffy. Yeah. It looks like I have a fat roll on my forehead. Is that even possible? Do people gain weight in their foreheads?! The swelling went away on my eyelids, though. Along with the twitching. But I can't raise my eyebrows. Or. The other eyebrow. Previously mentioned eyebrow is still up there, acting superior to the other one.

At least I got the headwrap off, even though the stitches are bright blue and my hairline is now caked with vaseline. People make a wide berth around me when I walk down the street. Quite possibly they think that I haven't showered in days and don't want to have to risk offending their noses. I just walk past them, one eyebrow raised in question.

Jealousy. That's what that strange new thing you are feeling is called. You wish you could be so cool. Don't worry. I've resigned to wearing headbands or a hat and sunglasses to diminish the attention I've received. It's all a small price to pay for catching something before it became a real problem. Go get yourself checked, it really isn't that bad.

Michigan Woman Finds Tomato With A Nose

Alternate headline: Michigan Woman Finds Tomato Shaped Like a Teapot

Before you go thinking I have completely lost my mind (I actually did a long time ago), this is really meant for someone. And she'll appreciate it. It would be the same person who knows a good news story when she sees one. The person whom I lived with when the breaking news about the potato shaped like a duck came out in the ED. Small towns. There's nothing like 'em.

I just wanted to bring a smile to her face. She is one of my BFF's. She is just no BS and I like that. She listened to me while I moaned and groaned about living here. She inserted the proper sympathetic remarks as I unloaded.

And then the funniest thing happened. I realized I don't mind it here as much as I was thinking. So, I started splashing my house with that color I talked about. And I decided it would be really hard to move out of my house, once I get it to match my vision. But she expects that kind of thing from me -and us- by now. After all, she is one of my BFF's, so she knows me. So to thank her, I had to share the tomato.

I hope I made you curious about my house. I browsed Etsy yesterday and found possible stencils to use for different projects that I might do. I hope you'll stop and see. And offer your opinion or any other suggestions.

SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

They don't know they are here. So don't tell them! Can you imagine how fun this reunion was? Our hostess was Sarah S****. And. Her cousin Heather S**** dropped in for a quick hug and hello. Within the last couple months, I've been feeling a little melancholy. Amongst other less- than-fun emotions. So this was just what the Dr. ordered. I have a long list of reunions I would love to post here. Starting with Lenny & Penny. And you and you. (You know who you are) And then ending with a (finally!) gathering of my blog-tastic network. Seriously. I actually have a prescription for it.

I love this. It makes me smile.

If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands.

What makes a perfect day?

Waking up in time to see your favorite guy before he leaves for work. And. Having him bring the trash to the end of the driveway for you. Then. An hour of quiet time to yourself. Remembering the lunch date you had yesterday with some friends from way back when, two you haven't seen in 8 years. Trying your pre-baby jeans on, just on a whim. And realizing they fit. Like really fit. Not just in a I-just-won't-breathe-or-sit-all-day kind of fit. Finishing the last book in a really good trilogy, with a cup of steaming coffee in your hand. Scrambled eggs for breakfast. Shutting off the A/C and opening the windows. Seeing that it might rain- yay!! And realizing after all of this, it's still only 9:30am. You still have a whole day of happiness ahead.

This is my town.

*happy sigh* Best FB page EVER. "You know you are from C***** if..."

Amongst my favorites go something like this:
*You don't know why, but you kind of miss George and Joannie.
*You've ever heard George's employees kick him out of his own restaurant.
*Or keep working after he "fired" them.
*You bring a cake pan to the Corn Carnival for the corn.
*You ever sat at The Norse for five hours and the only thing you ordered was a coffee.
AKA: Mud.
*You still call Daniels "The Norse".
*You have ever had a conversation with Dick the Lip.
*You know Lowell Dodge. Who made it to FL with $5. And you start to worry if you haven't seen him in a couple years. Might I also add: You heard he died, only to have him show up in town again.
*You know the dress ladies.
*You sat at the DQ or Marketplace to watch them burn the old houses across the highway.
*You survived "the big breeze".
*You went sledding down the terraces.
*You remember dialing just a 6 and then the last four digits of a phone number. 6-2904. 6-5158. You could even call your own house, if you had two phones.
*Your first job was detasseling.
*You know that there is such a thing as male corn and female corn.
*You can spot a "rogue" from a mile away.
*You know what it means to know something "backwards and forwards and frontways and sideways and upside down and inside out and any way you look at it".
*You bought bubble gum ice cream at Tom Thumb. Erma scooped it.
*Mrs. Peroutka made you stand on the wall at recess.
*You refer to that one building as "the old chicken shack".
*If you were looking for someone in the time before cell phones, you just called the DQ or the Norse and asked for them.
*You know what an Egg C***** is.
*You've been bridge jumping.
*You know exactly where to find teachers on their smoke breaks from school.
*If you remember the story of when the bank got robbed. And that Andy L was in the bank at the time.
*You know where the four-way is.

You know you're from there, if your heart is feeling a little too big for your chest after reading the memories compiled by people who grew up there. What a wonderful place to be from. *happy sigh*

This is my town.

Jet-set, go!

I really felt my jet-setting lifestyle take it's toll on me after my wild Friday night. Scrubbing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees. Oh, yes, I'm wild. Z was working late and so...

However. The weekend did redeem itself. On Saturday, Maddie, Haley and I took the retail world by storm. And. I had saved up $80 worth of rewards cards from Old Navy and I took my 15% off coupon... holy wah! (heehee) Did I get the deals! AND. Best ever. I went to JcPenney and got a pair of $36 shoes for Kaija for only $.85. Oh, yes. They sell shoes that spendy for little toots. Ridonkulous, I say. Unless you get them for a steal. How did I? Well. They were on clearance for $10.80 and I had a coupon for $10 off any purchase. An economy in the tubes equals really great deals to be had. That, combined with painting, a spur of the moment date and a whole lotta relaxin' on Sunday, it turned out to be an almost perfect weekend. *sigh*

Here's to a week of jet-setting like I did on Friday...

a week in the life

in the past week i...

realized i do have a spontaneous side.
and i embraced it.
told zztop to scoot a cheek, we were hopping in his ride out east.
why not?
only difference is, we used our car instead.
crossed two states off the bucket list.
delaware and pennsylvania.
cursed my ancestors for settling in boring landscapes, when they could have picked a seascape. or the mountains.
okay. i didn't actually curse.
crossed the atlantic ocean off my bucket list.
unless the gulf of mexico counts.
i don't think it technically does.
added "tour of the white house" to my list.
spoke to the president who declared I could have gotten a tour if i was with my friend, his supporter.
okay. maybe that wasn't entirely true.
or at all.
survived the stifling heat.
with five kids in tow.
with one cheap umbrella stroller.
missing the grip on one handle.
but satisfying my political side a bit.
in downtown washington, dc.
the mall. lincoln memorial. washington monument. the reflecting pool minus it's water. that's ugly. ford theatre. fave thing by far. the outside of the white house. world war ii memorial.
i'd previously been to the vietnam vet memorial and arlington cemetary and highly recommend them.
ate an olliburger that was dreamy at ollie's trolley.
even though i'm still having that contest.
however.
i did manage to eek out a total of 15 miles of workouts.
and i totally blew off the tour of the capitol i scheduled.
because i slept in longer than i planned.
oh. oops.
toured the hershey factory.
became nearly topless when i was pummeled by a wave in the ocean.
true story.
i was actually partially topless.
sorry for the visual.
i was to busy keeping my glasses on to worry about my swimsuit.
or standing.
realized what kind of hotel room $200 will get you.
and what $65 will get you.
guess which one was named "the scottish inn", yet owned by an indian woman?!
it was neat, because you could totally hear every car that passed by.
and the towels were almost big enough to cover my rear.
at least, i think that is what they were.
they may have been pillow cases.
they also have a really neat idea: if you own a motel (gram!) and people leave their shampoo behind, just water it down to make it last for the next guest.
realized that the ocean is actually closer to my house then mn is.
it's been really nice knowing you minnesotans.
came home and picked 2 cucumbers and a bunch of tomatoes from my garden.
and lived to tell you about all of it.
knucks.