I can't type with my mouth full.

Time flies by when you are eating. I made the whole ten days. Last Wednesday was the last day. I actually ate supper than night. I had to start eating again. And haven't stopped since.

But, yes, the cleanse does rock. Once it is complete. I feel wonderful. And it is true what I read: you can run so much better after the fact. Uh-huh. I shaved 2+ minutes off of my #_ minute mile I was running. Just by doing the cleanse. Wowzers. I needed that. Obviously. Soon I'll be running along side my husband. *happy sigh* That would be fun.

Gotta go enjoy my summer. Hope you are doing the same...

Precious breath

Yesterday tore me up. Although you'd expect to feel only tremendous relief and happiness in a situation like that... Well, I didn't. It was just too close for comfort. But I realized something that made me feel a whole lot better. I'm not the only one watching over my kids. And what happened was meant to happen the way it did. It doesn't pay to beat myself up with the "what ifs?". Because the outcome would have been the same. Either way. It makes me feel a lot better to remember that my babies have a guardian angel. Since we as parents cannot hover- nor would we want to- over them 24 hours a day. *sigh* I can breathe a little easier remembering that.

Good enough.

I may not be a good mother, but I'm good enough. (stolen from Ethiopifinn)
It's how I feel today. I redeemed myself for any parenting mistake I have made thus far. In my own mind, anywho.

I saved my Bizzizzy's life today.

She choked on a hotdog and started turning blue and limp. And I did it. I pulled through when she needed me the most. Despite the fact that my body was filled with a fear unlike any I have known. I'm still shaken by it.

But I feel like a good enough mom. And my babies are all still here, in one piece. That's good enough for me.

Whooo-eee!

Once you hit halfway, the days start flyin'.

*I feel f.a.n.t.a.s.t.i.c.!
*Lost ten pounds. Ten. As of last night.
*One can expect to gain half of it back when you start eating. Grrr. That was the last of my baby pounds.
*I feel Awesome!!
*So much energy and ambition.
*Not tired. Even though the baby decided 4 a.m. was as good a playtime as any.
*Clear mind. No fog.
*I like the lemonade.
*I might go extra days, if need be.
*I so want to eat healthier.
*Anything else?

Try it. You'll like it.
Two days left after today. Wow.

Better than halfway home.

And I know a better way to use my energy. By purchasing six gallons of paint. Way better than baking. I haven't been tempted to eat the paint. Not once.

In case you were wondering.

Tea, teeth and toxic breath.

Is it weird that I look forward to my laxative tea? Heh. I thought so.
I haven't craved coffee once. Strange.
Speaking of, my teeth look really white. I like it. So is my tongue. White, I mean.
Wonder if it is connected to the fact that I am suffering from Halitosis. Or rather, Zane is. An odd side effect. I don't like it. Zane really doesn't. I had an appt. to get the baby's brace adjusted today. Everytime I talked to the orthotist, I sort of turned my head to the side. To avoid killing him with my breath. Wonder what he thought? Heehee. It would have been worse to knock him over. He never would have been the same.
And where is this crazy ambition coming from? I wish I didn't want to bake all the time. It really makes me want to eat. I even baked bread today. That's not my usual forte.
Struggling from time to time with not eating, but I still haven't. Except the time I chewed the muffin and spit it out. And the bread, too. Is that legal? I'm a rebel.
When slumber meets my eyebulbs tonight, I'll be half way. It's about time.
For now, I'm going have some delicious lax tea. Mmmm. You can join me, if you want.

Ho-hum. Oh, hey! Ho-hos!

Mmm... I love food. It's sort of unbelievable that I have made it this far. Really, really unbelievable. I have for a few reasons.

1. I told you about it. It's a big reason I haven't quit.
2. Zane has never made it the full 10 days. That means I have to. For bragging rights.
3. I really do want to do this.
4. I've made it this far. It's almost halfway!
5. I can smell supper. I should go eat it. Oh, wait! I can't. Shoot. This isn't a reason to keep doing it. *sheepish*

But I have learned some things:
*don't.ever.make.chocolate.cupcakes. while you are doing this. period.
*even if you did just get your order in from Bakeitpretty.com and you just have to use those cute cupcake liners.
*it's self-inflicted torture. I came thisclose to quitting over them things.
*maybe I am more of a sweets person than a salty person. hmm...
*I should go eat some supper. I can smell it. Oh, wait...
*that's how it goes. a lot.
*if you go grocery shopping while you are doing the fast, you buy things like Easy Cheese.
*my kids are going to need to do the cleanse before I am done with mine. if I keep buying them that kind of food. what is it anyway? is it cheese? is it plastic? is it toothpaste? yellow toothpaste?
*I really, really love food. Amen.

Ho-hum.

Nothing exciting. Which is good, I would think, when it comes to a cleanse. I do so love eating. Just so you know.

Gotta run and clean my bathrooms- the baby is sleeping! (That's what you do instead of eating during a cleanse. It makes the time go by faster. Sort of.)

Day two.

And nothing. As far as hunger goes. Not bad. And. I am still preparing meals for my family without a problem. For now. Now that I tell you this, it'll probably change.

I have to admit: I can't take the lemonade. It's wierd. So I do something different.

Put some of the cayenne pepper in my mouth (thankfully I lived in NM for 3.5 years- I can handle doing this) and then wash it down with the lemon & maple syrup drink. Confession: I cut back on the maple syrup, too. I hope this doesn't mess the cleanse up. Whatever works, I say.

I'm beginning to notice how often I eat senselessly. Making the kids lunch, I have to stop myself from snitching a bite. Stopping what I am doing for hummus and pita chips. Just because. I'm a mindless eater, apparently. Hopefully I can do the cleanse just as mindlessly.

I sure could go for a glass of really wierd lemonade...

is what I keep telling myself. I started the 10-day Master Cleanse. It's weird. The lemonade is. And. The lack of hunger. No extreme misery. But it is only day one.

This morning, I was mixing up the salt water that you drink in the morning. I took a big mouthful and promptly spit it out! Nasty. Then I called around trying to justify not doing that part of the cleanse. But guilted myself back into doing it. Why do it halfway? As I was mixing up the second try, I saw the problem. I was using the wrong measurement. Oh, what a difference table will make over tea! (As in spoons) Don't do that.

Why torture myself in this way? Well, I want to get rid of annoying things. Mostly migraines. Lack of energy. Things like that. And this better help. If not, well... hopefully I gave any nasty toxins in my body the boot. Healthifying your life a little isn't a bad thing. Neither is making words up.

And I'm going to tell you about it. Not the worst details. But my general thoughts. Don't worry, you don't have to listen. I'm just doing this to make myself more accountable. I can't back down from this challenge now that you know about it. So thanks. You rock.

The lazy days of summer...

Schooooooooooooooooools out for the summer! Woot woot! And not a moment too soon. I, for one, am ecstatic over the prospect of waking to something other than an alarm clock. You know me, the anti-morning person. The thought of carefree, schedule-free days is like a mouthful of fruit salad. mmmmmmmm... I hope it stays fresh all summer long.

Izzyisms

I think there is a reason God gives us three year olds. Somehow you made it through the whole baby stage of sleepless nights, sprinkled with teething and topped with them getting into EvErYtHiNg. He then gives you this stage as a reward. I, for one, LoVe this stage. It's the one stage in each of my child's lives that I have felt confident in my parenting abilities. And if you are a parent, you know that is huge. I love the way that they are these tiny people, trying to learn the ropes of a big people world. They put their words together so perfectly imperfect. With the such expressive faces, exaggerating every emotion. But not a real care in the world, 'cept maybe when they get to have a snack. Their view of the world is so refreshing and untainted. I wish I could always have a three year old. I think I was made for this stage of my babies lives. It makes my heart swell. Like, for example:

Izzy: "Mom! I just heard a noise in the woods. It fweaked me out! I think it was a Wion!"
Me: "Probably not. We don't actually have Lions in this part of the world."
Izzy:"Yeah. It was pwobwy just a biwd."
Right. Lions. Birds. It could go either way.


Izzy: (eyes all blurry with sleep) "Mom! My eyes awen't wetting me see!"

And my niece, August: "Mom! My cough is going bad!"


Izzy brought me a fistful of daisies one day and said: "Cuz I wuved you weally much."
Good. 'Cept I wish she still did.

But my favoritist:
Izzy: "Mom! Zane's dad died, wight?"
(Yes. She calls him Zane when she talks to other people about him)
Me: "Yes, he did."
Izzy: "I feel weally bad about that."

Oh, the "Like"s you can "Like"

It's crazy the things you can "like". (As in FB.) Arby's. More specifically, my local Arby's. I do like it. But I haven't "like"d it yet. Even the Children's Hospital that we take our kids to. All but one of them.

What happened? Well, Kaija was put into a new brace that only one other baby has tried. She hated it. And it didn't fit properly. We took her back and had her put into the Rhino brace. She looks so stinkin' cute. Hey, it's our life. Might as well accept it. She looks cute, but hates it. We're easing her into it. She needs to wear it 23 hours a day. Which basically means it can be off for diaper changes and baths. Her hips are worse than Izzy's, but better than Haley's. We are unsure of what the future holds as far as surgery goes. It's a wait and see game. The brace holds her hips in place until the sockets are strong enough to keep her bone in place. The fact that she is so young and in a brace is a huge "like" where hip dysplasia is concerned.

As for Logster, he's going to be okay. "Like"!! His hips will never be 100%, but he'll live a normal life. Without major surgery at this point. He may never play football, but that's the lesser of the two evils, isn't it?

All in all, not bad. I'd have to "like" it overall. And, Gillette Children's Hospital, too. We've been blessed with one of the top specialists in the country and nothing can beat that. Except, maybe, not having to go there in the first place. Heh.