'ten.'eleven.

Although I wanted to cram our year into a nutshell for you, I realized that no matter how I listed or wrote about the main events in our past year, it came off sounding really negative. This year has been filled with trials for us. Without a doubt. However. We've been handed an almost equal amount of blessings, too. That being said, I'm so glad this year is over. Let's give it another shot. Yes, we still have a challenge ahead of us with the hippies in this family. We aren't going to let it get the best of us. So there!

I don't remember if I made a New Year's resolutions last year. So, needless to say, I don't know if I was successful or not. Turns out, I was a little busy this time last year.

So this year, I will share my resolutions. Which I actually take very seriously. For reals. If you want to improve yourself- you have to put a little effort into it. Last year was an exception for me. Sorry about that, self.

1. Focus more on me and Z. I've given myself breaks when I know I need them. To be at my best. It's amazing how the fun things easily take a backseat to the less than fun things. And we've had a lot to deal with and we've been negligent with our date nights. Time to give that back to us.

2. Focus a little more on all of the kids. It's so easy to pour my attention into the one kid that needs me the most. (or so I think) But it's not good to leave the others behind. And it messes with the family dynamics, anyway. The ones that aren't getting attention start to beg for it. In less than fun ways. Yes, that means less "In a minute" 's for me. Yikes. That's a tall order.

3. As always, keep up with the Dave Ramseyfying of my life. And exercising- this past year was a slacker year for me. On both of these. Whoops.

How about you?

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas!

And a blessed new year!

Next up on the planning agenda

And we have a surgery date! I'm not posting it for the world to see. So if you really must know, email me. I'll happily share. Now I can make plans and prepare. Be still, my planner-heart. BTW: I'm hoping some of you will meet me for lunch in the Twin Cities, as he will be in the hospital for a good chunk of a week. You know who you are. Have car, will meet you.

In other good news, Logan's ROM (range of motion) has improved by as much as 28 degrees. If it proceeds this well, surgery will be our reality. And then we can (hopefully) make some real progress. *This* might be the best gift we could be given right now. Didn't I say my gifts were going to be the not-returned kind? ;)

They eye of the beheld

We hit one of five, yes five, appointments that I scheduled the week of Christmas. I like to make life easy for myself, apparently. Heh. In all seriousness, I told you I'm crazy-prepared. It's true. My preparedness is directly proportionate to how excited I am about something. If I'm not very, it's low on my list and I become a procrastination queen. Christmas trumps most everything.

My Bizzizzy had yet another eye appointment. We were done patching her eye in October. Unfortunately, it made the "strong eye" become the "weak eye". Great. She will need surgery, but the Doc has decided to wait another four months to check it again. Great. Guess what that means? The Queen of second opinions is doing what she does best. That's right. I just really like to be pro-active. Sitting around and waiting is not my style. Sorry. Although I am not "excited" about it, my children's health problems are at the top of my not-procrastinating list.

My Izzy, she makes me happy. She fell asleep in the car today and I didn't realize she was awake until she starts singing, "..I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love..." She's so amazing, that one. Just like the song that I always say is about her and her sisters. Well, the chorus, anyway. (There is a part that might be a little weird if it was.)

"When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because, girl, you're amazing, just the way you are"

Every time the song comes on now, she just tells me, "Oh, mom! I love you!" And then she starts singing, not caring that the world is listening. That's her style. And I love it.

Haley.com

For you, Kylee. With extra hugs and kisses.

Yes, there is a reason behind the name. And, no, it is not

because I favor Haley.

We had our very first Christmas program last night. All the kids got

new clothes- even the ones that were not in it. (I & K)

The program was so sweet. I couldn't help but realize how lucky we are.

For so many things.

(Hope you liked it, Ky!)

*****

I've come to really love Sundays. They are the perfect way to

end a busy week. I don't even mind that church is so far away-

coffee at Panera (during Sunday School) with friends?

The perfect start to Sunday.

Yesterday, I counted my lucky stars. I'm surrounded

by a lot of good things in my life. And you are all a part of it.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Future stylist!

Oh, Izzy. She gets her impeccable taste from her Aunts. On my side.

They have so kindly taught her the ins and outs of the fashion world.

Well, from their perspective, anyway.

Such refined taste. That's all I have to say about that.

Way to go, aunts!

The Rundown: December

*Kids shouldn't have trials. That's what I think.

*Logan's cooped up energy equals a lot more taunting of little sisters. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. We joined a gym. This gym has activities for kids, too. WAHOOOOO! Even Logan. He can swim while we workout. How great is that?

*I am so happy to be at a gym again! It is so good for me in so many, many ways. I took a core class the other day. I'm still paying for it, btw. Love that! The instructor came up to me after class and asked if I have ever taken classes before, because I had correct form. I just smiled and said, "Yes. Yes, I have." No need to elaborate. They won't have certain expectations if I don't tell them the truth. Oh, and just so you know, we planked for five minutes. Five. We varied it, but it was still five minutes. Dude. That makes us superwomen. And you can't deny it. The longest I have ever planked for was 2-3 minutes. Of course I am bragging! Duh. You would be, too, if you planked that long.

*In reality, Logan's hip program is going well. It still stinks to watch him go through this. Every once in a while, I throw in a pep talk for him (partially for me, too) to let him know that we will get through this. Period. And we will do it as a family. Period. He is not alone. I really admire that little guy. He's tough. So very thankful for that. Inner strength is such a blessing.

*The Pox turned out to be nothing more than a reason for Haley to stay home and play. Thank you! And while she entertained her sisters, I baked bread. Fresh soft pretzels. All sorts of new things. And we made it through a week without Z. He came home bearing Green Chile Pistachios, but not Tamales. :*( I let him in the house, anyway.

*And I didn't rejoin the Soccer team. I felt like we need to focus on getting our family active during these cold winter months. It's more of a priority than soccer at the moment. Soccer would have stretched me thin, had I joined. Life's too busy.

*We are switching up Christmas this year. We'll have relatives to spend Christmas Eve with for once! Yay! Zane's aunt and cousin. And so I'm doing a Christmas brunch for us to enjoy on Christmas morning. My Christmas gifts this year are fantastic, IMO. I'm thinking it's a no-returns kind of Christmas. In this house, anyway.

*I'm basically prepared for Christmas, how about you?

My snowglobe.

While the kids were doing this...

I was doing this...

My window was a snowglobe that I stared, mesmerized, at for hou... a long time.

This is precisely how I listened to church today- what with Z working and the Chicken Pox

making their appearance. It was beautiful. Church, not the pox.

The green parts are back to white by now. Bring on the snow, I say!

Just not the cold. I could go for

a snow day, snuggling with my kids all day long. Well, I'd be snuggled up

and they'd pry be outside. But I'd love one nonetheless. Pretty please?

And anyways, I deserved it. Not only is it the day of rest:

But I was feeling rather overwhelmed with everything. So I went

check, check, checkity, check on my to-do list.

Prepared for the holidays and took care of business.

And lifted some weight off of my shoulders.

So it was kickin' back time. You know when you do that- you also get

temporary relief from the weight. But it'll still be there when you get up, so

you still need to get up. It's not a permanent cure.

It is, however, just what the Dr. ordered for now.

It's beginning to taste a lot like Christmas!

Is it itchy in here or is it just cuz we got the Chicken pox?

Yep. And she had the shot and the booster.

Just in time for the holidays.

What do you mean 'what are those'?

Duh. Some people do not have an eye for true art.

Sheesh.

My girls rock the cookie decorating.

They are snowmen!

I love making Christmas cookies and sharing them. Except these babies. If I've shared them with you, you are perty darn special. (Or tarts.) Reason: I doubled the recipe for these cookies and ended up with 36 cookies. It doesn't make very much. And they disappear in this house just as quickly as prune tarts. Funny story about those: I did share tarts with some of my favorite people in NM. Again, if you got them- I must really love you. Our friend Fern loved them so much that he actually ate a couple of them raw! I had given them a tin of frozen ones with directions to bake- he didn't see the note. It was pretty funny. He said they were still delicious, even raw! If you have had tarts, you understand. Sigh. I really miss NM. And I'm realizing that I won't have Tamales at Christmastime this year and it's not helping matters. I *love* tamales. Like I *love* tarts or these cookies:

Chocolate Mint Sandwich Cookies: (sorry this got all spacey. Julie once told me how to fix it, but I was also- apparently- spacey at the time)

3/4 C. Butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1/2 tsp vanilla

2 c. flour

3/4 c. cocoa

1/2 tsp b. soda

1 tsp b. powder
1/2 tsp salt

1/4 milk

Filling:

3tb butter, softened

1 1/2 c. powdered sugar

1 TB milk

2-3 drops green food color

2-3 drop peppermint flavor

Add moist ingredients and beat. Add dry ingredients and mix. Shape into two rolls. Chill for several hours. Slice. Bake at 325 for 10 min. Spread filling on cookies and press together to form sandwiches. Enjoy!

For Len-nerd Skin-nerd

She's so bossy. Always telling me what to do. Whatev.

I won't lie. I was most excited to decorate my catwalk. It was a pain in the rumpus.

But I learned a lot for next year.

My perty, perty glitter trees.

Eww. My walls are not that color that they look in the bottom picture. And I wish I was a photographer.

Or at least had my other camera repaired by now.

I still really, really, really love my house. The end.

Superbaby: 11 months

Oooh, kids make life so interesting and worth living.

That's actually exactly what I was thinking when the cops showed up.

True story.

Turns out, Kaija does know how to dial 911.

Phew. I can breathe easier knowing that I can count on her in an emergency.

Plus, I got a moment to feel like a really good mom standing at the door, beaming with pride at the nice officer. Pfft. Some people's nieces.

It's just one of those rides.

This past week was like going down a rocky hill on a sled. Slightly fun, but mostly it just kicks your butt. And I'm not sure if this week is shaping up to be much better. Although I am now getting somewhere with this Christmas stuff. 'Sbout time. Sometimes you just have to laugh or else you will cry. Z was on the way to SS yesterday and got a flat at the end of our shared driveway- good thing he left before the neighbors. The kids hopped in with them. On the way home, Z found it very important to dig for a Butterscotch candy, of all things, and rear-ended somebody. (Slow-mo style) Way to impress the three extra kids in the car, Z. It gave our minivan that extra bit of character it needed- a hole in the bumper. Perfectly round. From the muffler on the other car. Cute.

(I laughed and told him that this was going to make it on my blog. So glad it was him and not me!)

It's all in the cars

Why is it when the mechanic calls, I suddenly can't intelligently utter the most basic thing?
Like "Check the shocks, struts and ball joints, please." It's more a bunch of garbled stuttering. And I look like a blond woman. Oh wait. Heh. But, I mean, really. Having me talk to a mechanic is about as smart as owning a pet Tiger. Some day you are just going to be eaten alive. I'm just saying. Sure, I can eventually get three words out, but if you don't know exactly what they are and exactly what they do (I have a general idea) the mechanic can figure that out in two seconds flat. Next time I'm going to hand him a note and pretend I'm deaf. Except I don't know what I'll do when the kids start running around uncontrollably. Well, at least it gives me a good excuse to drive Zane's truck. Cuz you know I want to. If you haven't seen it, all I need to say is: we paid cash for it. Ha. It's nice. I won't lie. My favorite thing about it is that you need to wind down the window to open the door. Izzy told me, "No fair! I want to do that." I know, Izzy, I know. That's what everyone says. And if they can't drive that, they want the minivan. We're classy folks. The only thing that could possibly top that was Aimee's old Saturn. That thing was mint. Well, almost. It was actually seafoam green. 'Cept that spot held up by duct tape. That was grey.

Our Lemonade

You know, it's funny. Sometimes you can hear something that would normally make your heart cry. But when you've been waiting for too long without an answer to a question, just hearing an answer- any answer- is good news. It's like getting a fresh pitcher of lemonade. Slightly sour lemonade, but lemonade nonetheless.

While in MN for our first holiday with family in four years, we made the trip to Gillette as we always do. Double duty. Kaija is still in her brace at night and will probably avoid surgery that way.

The real answers? This is the specialist we should be seeing, my instincts were right. Logan's hips have taken the worst turn they could. He needs to remain inactive for 3 months. That's right. A nine year old boy needs to sit still. No running, skating, sledding, ripstick, jumping, twisting, etc. No enjoying his first winter back in snow country. He can walk, bike, swim. Period. He also needs extensive PT. The combination will loosen up his hips to prepare for surgery to rebuild his bone and socket. He will then be in The Dreaded Spica Cast- think armpits to ankles- and a wheelchair for a month. And this isn't guaranteed to work. But if we don't jump at the chance- and immediately- this is the best and only opportunity we have to do the surgery. If his hips do not get loosened in time, he will be in traction for some time. Because he needs this surgery in the very near future. Sigh.


Anyways. I'm oddly at peace with this. I'll admit, I did wrap Logan in my arms and shed a few tears with him as we took in the news at Gillette. I realize I'll probably shed more in the future, but for now my eyes are dry and my heart feels prepared. Maybe it is because I feel so confident in the plan for now. With Dr. N's tips, we were able to alleviate his pain and hips locking up at night. That's why I trust that Dr. N is the specialist we need to see. For all of our hip issues. Shudda trusted my instincts.

We really did have an amazing Thanksgiving, despite it all. And I hope you did, too.
I'm so thankful for family, friends, and answers.

Dang it. That stinks.

Says Izzy every. single. day. when she is getting dressed.
She asks me, "Will it be hot or cold today?"
"Cold, Izzy. For many, many days. It's almost winter."
"Dang it. That stinks. I wanted to wear my pink shorts."
Every day.
I have never denied that we are a certain percentage of redneck. And if you don't stop lecturing me on her choice of words, I'll pull out my handy-dandy duct tape and tape your mouth shut. Heck yep.

Dang it. That stinks that we need to get rid of Harley. Turns out, he thinks he needs to show the neighbor kids that he is more powerful then them and sends them home in tears. I don't need another dog, but I do need those neighbor kids. They keep my kids outside, burning off their energy. He's a really good dog for someone without kids. We decided to keep the kids and return the dog.

Dang it. That stinks that Logan needs to go for an arthrogram and MRI. No answers on the hip issue yet. They need a better look to understand what all is going on and what to do about it. It could be loose bone pieces in the socket that aren't showing up on x-ray. Answers are hopefully coming our way. (Oh, I failed to mention: his most recent x-rays show that his hip took a turn for the worst. The top of the bone has a flat head, instead of being rounded as it should.)

Dang it. That stinks. Kaija, again. This diarrhea better clear up soon.

Thank you.

If I had the courage, bravery, integrity, honor that this soldier has in his pinky finger, I'd be a better person than I am right now. I am honored just to know somebody who fought bravely along side him in the Korengal Valley in Afghanistan. My brother-in-law Luke. These men are all amazing. We could never thank them enough. They had a camera crew with them for at least part of their deployment. They aired an exclusive on them- (I think it was Dateline, but I can't find it), an article in Vanity Fair and now a documentary. I'd love it if you would support Restrepo- you can like it on FB. :) At least check out these links... thank you.

Pictured above is Staff Sergeant Sal Giunta of the 173rd Airborne. He is the first living recipient of the prestigious Medal Of Honor since the Vietnam War. An amazing person who has made our country a better place! Thank you.

*picture from CNN*

Holidazzle

I might have my Christmas tree up.
What?
You don't know me!
It's not even decorated yet.
Well. I'm not hosting Thanksgiving, so why not?
Christmas is, after all,
the hap-happiest time
of the year!
Oh, how I love it.
And although Thanksgiving usually gets in my way of Christmas, it isn't this year.
Yes, I'm going to love it. For the first time in four years we will be celebrating Thanksgiving (or any holiday, for that matter) the way that it is meant to be celebrated. Big-family style. (insert grin)
It'll be grand. Too much food, hideous amounts of dishes, but lots of people- family and any extra that might not have a place to go. Annette is good like that. I can really appreciate that after our last Thanksgiving. Far too quiet. With just us. I'll admit: it was downright depressing. It was readying us for moving, I think. An obnoxious reminder that we didn't have family there. We're making up for last year, with two Thanksgiving dinners. With family from both sides. (fist pump)
I hope yours is grand!
And for crying out loud- get your tree up! What are you waiting for? Christmas?

Meet Harley.

Just to warn you, I might become one of those really proud, obnoxious dog owners.

(No Kristy, you are not!)

I've never been a dog person. But then again, I've never owned a Boxer.

This is the only dog that I've always wanted.

In fact, owning one has been on my bucket list.

We're taking this one for a "test drive". We were not in the market, but it fell into our laps.

A free, purebred Boxer that is house trained? The only drawback: I didn't get to

raise it from a puppy. I did, however, half hope that Z would surprise me with one

for Christmas. As long as he continues to be a good guard dog, plays well with our kids and

their friends...

I think he has a shot at living here. I'll let you know

what we decide!

Oh, he's a good looking dog!

Lessons to learn

Since it is November, I can proclaim loudly about how thankful I am for teachers. Not only because they give me a loooong break each weekday, but also because they are giving me something so priceless. An education for my children. It is not lost on me how important their job is. It isn't just teaching them the ABC's and math facts, it's noticing how each child absorbs them. How quickly they catch on. How fluently they read. If they comprehend what they are reading. For each student in their class. Teachers are amazing. It makes me realize how over my head it would be if I was homeschooling. I don't know about all those little milestones you need to watch for. What's normal, what's not. I am forever grateful that somebody else does.

P/T conferences are always a little emotional for me. I realize I might be strange, but I am always keeping those emotions in check. Always willing my eyes to stay unmisted. My kids are amazing and make me so proud. (I'm so thankful that they got their brains from their dad.) While the transition into this new school was rough for all, me included, this year is phenomenal. We found our sea legs. I didn't really realize until now how difficult it was for my kids to make that change. Was I in denial? or Did I see it for what it was? I had teachers from last year check up with this years teacher. That speaks volumes. Ugh. But we made it. And we're stronger for it.

The only less than happy part was the discussion that I had with Logan's teacher about his hip issues. The poor guy is really going through a rough patch at the moment. I'm not sure if his physical therapy is adding to it, rather than detracting. The pain is so intense at times that it wakes him up at night, screaming. I don't know what hurts worse, his hips or my heart. This tough little guy has yet to complain that he was handed this trial in his life. That is so amazing. Although it doesn't pay to dwell on the fact that he has to deal with it, I won't be mad when it is just a memory.

For today, my sunshine is teachers and those three students that I love so much.

Thank you, veterans!

Including my dad. Yes, there were people on the wall that he knew, sadly.

For those who recognize the people in this picture: I know it seems odd that my dad, my MIL, my SIL, Logan and myself (behind the camera) were in DC at The Wall together. There is a perfectly logical explanation for this: we were there for a graduation of the person that ties us all together. Just so you know.

I got the blues. And the purples.

Oh, that was hard to convince me, wasn't it? I thought it over for a split second. Yes, you can see my coat! Just warn me next time so that I can fix my hair for you.
I had a few requirements as I was searching for my coat:

1.) COLOR 2.) Architectural detail 3.) Something I could dress up or down

Sorry for the fuzzy pictures. This is my backup camera. The other needs to go in for repairs. But sending it off immediately is not how I roll. I heard things get sweeter with time, so I take mine when I feel like it.

The coat as it came.

The coat with my touch.

And, since you were probably wondering: what was hiding under the coat. Purple pride!

The true story of the cheap lady and her husband's dog

Did I mention the $90 coat that I cheaped out on? I figured I could catch it on sale. Boy, did I call that one! I found it on sale for $60, used an online code to get 20% off and then used a $20 coupon I had, also. I got it (with shipping) for around $40.

My dog promptly ripped the packet to shreds. (Because, apparently, the UPS guy did not have the energy to use my front door and ring the doorbell.) The only reason the dog hasn't died yet is because the coat was unscathed. True story. Zane said the dog is "so cute". That's why the confettied package is still on the driveway, while the coat is safely in the house. Another true story. It'll keep him busy while I am wearing said coat out for coffee with the girls tonight. I'm sassy like that. Sassy in my new, inexpensive coat.

eta: Turns out, my kids had far too much energy to expend it in our house. So a certain mom sent them outside to get fresh air and pick up confetti. Z got off easy.

Welcome, Laura, to the blogging world! Check out my talented cousin!

Sugar and spice and everything nice. That's what my day was made of.

Yesterday, It all came up daisies. Or whatever these flowers might be. I want to rewind yesterday and enjoy it for its simple happiness.

After dropping off the kids at school, I filled up my empty tank. Quite literally. I have an 18 gallon tank. I put in 18.03 gallons. That made me happy. I'm glad to know that my vehicle and I have something in common. We can both run on fumes.

That's not even the best part of the day. My husband showed up for a brief period of time during the middle of the day. We never get that lucky because he works too far from home. And. He brought me flowers. That's not even the heart-melty part. He also brought some for Izzy. His girls at home, he says. Pitter, patter. I love getting flowers. Some women claim they don't. I have a hard time believing that. Who wouldn't want to be reminded, every time they see their flowers, that their husband loves them and thinks of them during the day?

And I'm officially done peck-peck-pecking my way through the texting world. I bought a phone with better texting capabilities. If you can't lick em, join em. Yes, Aimee, I was officially waiting to see if this texting thing would really take off or not. You never know.

When I came home from soccer, I heard this little voice in my mostly dark house say, "Mommy, I can't sweep because I'm scawed." There is nothing better than snuggling and protecting your babies after a blissfully happy, yet simple day. And going to bed knowing you can sleep in because the school kids have the day off. I really want to rewind.

You know what else I hate? The dumb trees at Target. They don't move out of your way when you are walking and digging in your purse at the same time. Annoying.

a right and a left make a wrong

Who was the brainiac that decided they were going to revolutionize the left hand turn here in Michigan? Obviously someone that was not born here, as we all know that people born in MI are smarter than that. And, no, I am not saying that just because I was born a yooper. You are so jaded. Sheesh.

But, about the left hand turn. It wasn't until I came here, that I realized just taking a left hand turn when you need to go left makes the least amount of sense. Apparently. It makes way more sense to take a right, drive a 1/4 mile out of your way, make a left/u-turn (aren't they usually discouraged and/or illegal?) and then drive back that 1/4 mile and keep on going. I mean, who wouldn't want to make all those extra turns and drive an extra 1/2 mile? Duh. So obvious.

I just want to know how that train of thought started. Really. Was it like: "You know, I find taking a normal left hand turn at a stoplight to be highly boring. We should jazz it up a bit. What could I do..." Or, "Ugh. I'm way too important to wait for the left hand turn arrow to turn green. I would feel way better if I was at least moving. I will add an extra loop in my drive, just so to keep me and my important self in motion. It's probably quicker, too." OR. "You know, I really want to make a name for myself. I'm going to change the way people think about left hand turns. What could I do to make the greatest impact?" And it's probably the same person that decided to not put the street names in the intersections at stoplights in H****l. They clearly belong 100 yards before the intersection.

I, mean, really? It's no wonder we pay so many taxes. Because, honestly, just adding that left arrow probably doesn't add that much of an expense vs the MI left. Am I missing something here?

Apparently somewhere else in this great country, a village is missing their idiot. I'm just sayin'.

True to form

Because I always feel the need to explain myself, I'll give you some of my struggles:

*stage fright. I meet people and they say they read my blog. I'm flattered. Yet it scares me. They already have formed an opinion of me, without actually hearing the flow of my words and the different inflections of my voice. Were the words a song? Was it off key? Or perfect pitch? That is scary. And still flattering.

*I've made people feel things that I never meant them to. Including being offended. I hate that. In a I-can't-get-past-it kind of way. Seriously. I've tried. And I can't. I find myself avoiding topics because of it. Leaving this blog as a less than authentic piece of me. A place to post the names of good books, recipes and not much more.

*writing, to me, is therapeutic. I take my anger and put it into words. Black and white. And I let it stew in virtual space. And when I'm ready, I delete it into oblivion. And that ugliness in me goes with it. Usually. You don't see it. Would I really want to show you that side of me? Nah.

*and I don't share with you how gorgeously delicious I find my husband to be. Or any of the things he does for me, lest you think I'm bragging. I would be. You might think I'm trying to convince you of something. Even though I wouldn't be. I used to think that about people, but I don't now. Okay. Maybe sometimes.

*I want to be more personal. I want to record my life and I want to remember, ten years down the road, how I felt on this day. And I'm sort of left with the fact that maybe what I actually need is a diary. Not a for-all-to-see diary. A just-for-me-to-see diary. And maybe my husband and kids.

*I read other people's blogs and love their words. And wish I had thought of them. A part of me realizes that we all have different words. Our own style of words. Just because mine are different isn't necessarily a bad thing. But, come on? Who can compare to some of these bloggers? Seriously?!

Yet. I have gained so much with this blog. A sharing of myself. Insight from you. A network of blogging friends, that I otherwise wouldn't have had. A network of blogging friends. The biggest gain, by far. I really truly enjoy it.

You see where I'm going with this? I'm not bringing this up to eek a pep talk out of you or gain a compliment. I'm just trying to explain this inner battle I've had and if some day you try to pop onto my blog and it's not there, you will know why. You'll know which side won. Or continues to win. Maybe I should have explained this a long time ago, I'm already starting to feel better.

Sigh. There I go again. I wish I was a decisive person.

Struggling...

I'm having an inner struggle with the blog thing. The struggle is almost to its one year anniversary. Maybe you've noticed I've lost steam. And it's becoming more impersonal. That's part of the struggle. (I'm not looking for any kind of encouragement or pep talk here. It's just the facts.)

It's a struggle to come up with blogging topics, so I'll just give you a rundown...

*you really can have tornado warnings in October. Huh. I thought it was just a test.
*if it is a nice day, jump at the chance to meet friends at the park. You never know what kind of weather the next day holds. More importantly, you will feel refreshed.
*bring on winter. I want to see some snow!!
*i love soccer. Love. I'm not good at it tho. Fantastic exercise. And it makes you sore. Maybe only if you are over 30.
*i just told Zane that if it comes down to it, I'm going to have a hard time leaving this place.
*he said you make sacrifices anywhere you live.
*i'm going to have a hard time leaving this place. If I have to. That happened quickly.
*i feel really disconnected from my sisters. But. I hate talking on the phone and they work during the day, anyway. That's the thing. The reason to move back. Family.
*still up in the air about Thanksgiving in MN. I hate that. I'm a planner.
*i'm spending these windy days curled up on my couch with a stack of books and a cup of coffee. Sigh. Does it get any better than that? I didn't think so.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting on my world to change.

I need a change.
I know, right? Weird. (I never said I wasn't.)
It's just that every couple years, I feel the need to make a huge life change. I don't know why, I just do. I started exercising. Dave Ramsey. That type of thing. Moving doesn't count.
I never said you had to understand it. You just need to know it. It's who I am.
I think it's just boredom. Restlessness. The baby is getting bigger and requires less of me, leaving me with more time. Time that I need to fill. I need a goal. Or a hobby. A life changing hobby. Something.
What is it that I need?
Is it strange to you that I feel my life is at a crossroads? I do. And I don't even know what the crossroads are. I keep tossing around the idea of going back to school- that one has been simmering for years. However. That still wouldn't be until next fall, leaving my current feelings unfulfilled.
I guess all of this is a good thing: it means I am feeling settled into my life here.
Settled, yet not.

It's a laughing matter.

I joined soccer. I'm a soccer mom.
Good. I'm glad you responded like that.
I was hoping to start your Monday off with a good belly laugh.
Just don't tell my team that I joined mainly for the exercise.
Truth is, I have never played soccer in my life. Except maybe in PE in school.
Laughing burns calories. You have my permission.

rain on the parade

Do you know that -supposedly- one of the miners wives showed up to wait for her husband's rescue? And so did his girlfriend? Oops.

Challenge: Days 7-11

Ina Garten. You know what you are doing, lady. If gaining weight and clogging arteries are your specialty. Or making purely sinful, yet delicious food.

Good & evil recipes:

Wheat berry Salad: (Okay, admittedly, this one isn't evil. It's just good. Different, but fantastic- it blew my mind. Not good as leftovers.)

1 cup hard winter wheat berries (I used bulgur wheat and prepared it according to pkg direct.)

kosher salt

1 cup finely diced red onion

6 tbsp good olive oil, divided

2 tbsp balsamic vinegar

3 scallions, minced, white and green parts

1/2 red bell pepper, small-diced

1 carrot, small diced

1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper

Place the wheat berries and 3 cups of boiling salted water in saucepan and cook, uncovered, over low heat for approx. 45 min or until they are soft. Drain.

Saute the red onion in 2 tbsp of olive oil over med-low heat until translucent, approx 5 min. Turn off the heat and add the remaining 4 tbsp of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

In a large bowl, combine the warm wheat berries with remaining ingredients. Allow the salad to sit for at least 30 min for the wheat berries to absorb sauce. Season to taste and serve at room temperature.

Mashed Yellow Turnips with crispy shallots-

Mediocre. Basically mashed rutabaga, prepared in the same way you would do mashed potatoes. If you want me to post the recipe, I can.

Sagaponack Corn Pudding -(This also blew my mind. Amazing. Makes a lot, tho.)

1 stick unsalted butter

5 cups fresh corn kernels off the cob (6-8 ears) or frozen corn

1 cup chopped yellow onion

4 extra large eggs

1 cup milk

1 cup half and half

1/2 cup yellow cornmeal

1 cup ricotta cheese

3 tbsp chopped fresh basil

1 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp kosher salt (Next time, I'll cut back on this. It was a titch salty)

3/4 tsp pepper

3/4 c grated cheddar, plus extra to sprinkle on top

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease the inside of an 8-10 cup baking dish.

Melt the butter in a large saute pan and saute the born and onion over med-high heat for 4 min. Cool slightly.

Whisk together the eggs, milk, and half and half in a large bowl. Slowly whisk in the cornmeal and then the ricotta. Add the basil, sugar, salt and pepper. Add the cooked corn mixture and cheese and then pour into the baking dish. Sprinkle top with cheese.

Place the dish in a larger pan and fill the pan halfway up the sides of the dish with hot tap water. Bake the pudding for 40-45 min until the top begins to brown and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Serve warm.

Potato Basil Frittata- (pictured)

(This is a great one to make for out of town company. I loved it. In advance: Yes, Aimee. I will.)

8 tbsp unsalted butter, divided (I couldn't. I used less.)

2 cups peeled and 1/2 inch diced boiling potatoes

8 extra large eggs

15 oz ricotta cheese

3/4 lb Gruyere cheese, grated (White cheddar would make a cheaper substitute)

1/2 tsp kosher salt

1/2 tsp pepper

3/4 chopped fresh basil

1/3 cup all purpose flour

3/4 tsp baking powder

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Melt 3 tbsp of the butter. Fry potatoes until cooked through, 10-15 min. Melt the remaining butter in a small dish.

Meanwhile, whisk the eggs in a large bowl, then stir in ricotta, Gruyere, butter, salt, pepper and basil. Sprinkle the flour and baking powder and stir into egg mixture.

Grease a baking dish. Cover bottom with potatoes and pour egg mixture over. Bake the frittata until it is browned and puffed, 50-60 min. It will be rounded and firm in the middle and a knife inserted in the frittata should come out clean. Serve hot.

I was going to post the last one: Raspberry Cheesecake. But I haven't actually made it yet. Heh. So I better wait. For my recipe number eleven, I will tell you that I made a Pulled Pork recipe. It wasn't anything to write home about. Or, in this case, blog about. (Not from Ina.)

All in all? "Barefoot Contessa Family Style" is a good cookbook. The recipes are mostly fantastic. As with any celebrity chef/ Foodnetwork Star, you get great bang for your buck, just not a lot of bang. I guess you can skimp on the sheer number of recipes when you have credibility as a buffer.

For Kim, Bonnie, Sabrina & Damon:

This is Damon. I never had the honor of knowing him. I have, however, had the honor of knowing his family. And if he was a fraction like any of them, and I suspect he was, he was an amazing person. He made the ultimate sacrifice for New Mexico and for the greater good of our nation and world. We can never thank him or his family enough. I wish I could take away their pain. Since I cannot, the offer of my shoulder for them to cry on will always stand.


I learned so much from Sabrina and her family. How to take a tragedy and turn it into something beautiful. They honored Damon and other law enforcement officials with beautiful luncheons. The community generously donated for the cause. (I daresay that I learned enough from y'all to organize an event myself!) Did anyone ever thank you for honoring them? Thank you! And thank you for being my family away from my family! Love you forever. Extra, extra love and hugs to you this month. And to Levi, Garrett and Kylee. And Marno. (Who, hey! Is you Grandma! ;) ) And anyone else in your family.

There are many people who serve our country in so many different ways. People who are willing to sacrifice for our country. Who do make the ultimate sacrifice for our country. And those who love and support them. Thank you to all of them.

Challenge: days 1-4

It's only just beginning and I am already realizing that a new recipe for each day of the month is exactly what I called it: a challenge. Did I say one each day? Because I meant that loosely as: one for each day. Some days I double, even triple up. Just in case I don't try something new one day. Like yesterday, for instance.

And the first four:

1. Crockpot Oatmeal: Doozy! I wanted something that would be waiting for us when we awoke in the morning. We use mostly steel cut oats, so when I found a recipe for it- voila! Or so I thought. I won't give up. I think with a few adjustments, I could perfect this. Or I'll just stick to the Baked Oatmeal I love, even if I have to wake up early to put it in the oven. Hmmph.

2. PW's Cinnamon Bread: Fantastic for those of you who did not grow up with Nissu or Pulla. Whatever your family calls it. Which is, essentially, Cinnamon Bread with Cardamom. This would actually taste really great with a little powdered sugar frosting. Which would make it equal to the stuff my mom buys at The Marketplace bakery. If you look at it that way- definitely a keeper.

3. Earthquake Cake: This was the cake that was so dangerous. Proceed with caution. It will ruin your weight loss/management dreams.

4. Pecan Crusted Salmon: WHY HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY MADE THIS?! YOU HAVEN'T LIVED UNTIL YOU DO!!!!

Yes, I yelled that. And even your 3 year old will eat it if you tell him/her that it is pink chicken.
I'm actually thoroughly enjoying this new recipe thing and my family claims they are, too. We'll see if they say that at the end of the month! Ha! (Thanks to Anne and PW. No thanks to the lady from the newspaper.)

Best for first...

To start out my challenge of a month of new recipes:

Glenn and Kate have a brand new bun in the oven! Congrats to them! I'm not sure I am going to top that one this month...

I do, however, have a cake in the oven. A real cake. And it looks positively dangerous. I'll let you know how it goes!

Wildly bouncing ball

I don't know what gave me the idea, but I tried on my pre-Kaija jeans. And they fit! Not prettily. But they fit, nonetheless. -I would have celebrated with a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie, but I already had one- They weren't THEE jeans (ahem, Sabrina) but they were jeans. I now have 5 pairs instead of 2. -Okay, so I had two cookies, sue me!- And having more jeans makes me happy. -I didn't go for a third because of those chocolate covered almonds I ate- So the day was going pretty well. Until Z sends me a text. -almonds are good for you, full of good fats- Apparently he has something work related that came up the day we were planning to leave to Florida for his cousin's wedding that he is standing in. -the chocolate on the almonds is just a bonus- So instead of the whole family going, the plan is that he'll fly there himself. I won't lie: I was disappointed. -so I had a cookie to help with that- But the good news: it'll actually save us money. Which isn't as fun as going to Florida. -I'm willing to bet my jeans don't fit anymore- I guess that's how the ball bounces.

Happy 30th birthday!!

To? I'll give you some hints:

*her and I shared the same golden birthday year.
*same age, obviously.
*had we stayed in MI, I would have gone to school with her.
*instead, we met years later.
*we were roommates.
*she is one of my besties.
*I consider her a sister, really.

Hope your day is fabulous! I meant to put up a throwback photo- but since I'm not incredibly organized in the photo dept, I couldn't find them. Guess you got lucky, since I just needed to post this already.

Who? Katie. Katie A** the second. (Not to be confused with my SIL, who has the same name.)

My wish for me for your birthday? :) That I could live closer to you- so that we could complain about the weight we gained having babies while eating something sinful, rely on each other for child care, be there for each other when we just.need.a.break.! Sigh. Maybe someday!

*this*

is what it's all about. Right now, I have a yard full of active boys. Celebrating Logan's birthday. I can't help but realize how very lucky we are. Of all of the places we could have ended up, *this* is where we are. Here. And even if we do end up moving in the future, my kids are building lifelong friendships. Friends they will, without a doubt, see in the future through church. *this* makes me happy. We are so blessed to have *this*.

Excuse me while I go wipe my leaky eyes. Those bothersome allergies...

Roadtrip!

I had a plan. Armed with my camera, I was going to take pictures of my friends and everything I love in New Mexico. And show you on my blog. That's when my camera showed me that I wasn't in charge. Dumb camera. But: I went, I saw, I conquered. And came home completely refreshed and ready to play mommy again. Without the pictures to prove it. Sigh.

Here's what I learned:
*Roadtrip - kids + hubby = fun
*Not everybody remembers to fly their flag at half staff on September 11th. Sad.
*No matter which way I see it, Missouri is beautiful. And Oklahoma is HuMiD. Texas is big. Indiana is stinky. Michigan is just as much home as New Mexico is anymore. Equality is good.
*And Amy and Jodi are still as thoughtful as ever.

I loved my trip. I pigged out on everything with Green Chiles. Bought my family a bushel and a half of roasted green chiles to take home. (They smell amazing, fyi.) Went to my old gym and saw my peeps there. Oh, how I love them! Saw almost everyone that I wanted to see. (You don't count, Laren. You don't live there anymore.) Relaxed. And relaxed some more. With Amy, mostly. It was wonderful.

All the mommies out there need to do that for themselves. Seriously, I had reservations about this trip?! What was I smoking?!

Oh, and Happy BCM, Amy!!! Thank you for everything!! Big (((hugs)))! I heart you big!

If you wish upon a star and your wish comes true, you will end up with the cutest dog in the world. Per Isabel.

My house is clean, my bars are gone, got my Tetanus shot (I got poked by a rusty Corn Carnival pin from 2005. True story.) and my MIL is coming. What could be better? I know! If 2/3 of that pan of bars won't soon be making an appearance on my hips. That's what.

I'm taking a sabbatical from the computer. And stuff. Only for a week or two. See ya then!

Peanutty S'mores

Viewer discretion is advised.

Without a doubt, my favorite bar. It's heaven in my fingertips. I made them in lieu of working out. Sometimes you just gotta be tough and roll like that.

Peanutty Smores

1/2 c. softened butter

1/2 c. peanut butter

1/2 c. sugar

1/2 c. brown sugar

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla

Cream together. Then add:

1 1/2 c. flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

Press into 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Cover with a bag of miniature marshmallows, 1/2 bag chocolate chips and 3/4 c of peanuts. Bake an additional 10 minutes or until marshmallows are slightly brown.

ENJOY! Guilt-free. Because I'm a mom and I said so.

I survived the big breeze!

Remember those shirts? How many of you bought one? I know my mom and Emily K. each had one. And I was positively GrEeN with envy. (One year when my hometown got hit particularly bad by a tornado, they made those shirts.)

Moms of Kindergartners should have something similar. "I survived my heart hopping on the bus." It's so hard to watch, isn't it? And it's hard with every new Kindergartner you have. This is the first time that I haven't had to deal with that feeling on the first day and so I was actually able to enjoy the fact that we were getting back to a structured, scheduled, routine-filled life. Ooh, how I thrive on structure.

It's laundry duty now and when I am done, I am going to get a shirt that says, "I conquered the Laundry Mt. Range!" Because, yes, I don't just have a mountain. I have a whole range.

My October Challenge.

Considering October is the scariest month, what with Halloween and all, I am going to try scare my family a little. Maybe even me. Everyday, I'm going to try out a new recipe. And I'll blog about the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you have one that you haven't dared, send it my way. I just might be your guinea pig. Or, better yet, do it with me. I dare you!

*I know it's only September. Didn't I tell you that I like to be prepared? Geez. *

Lester, the real cowboy.

That's what Logan used to refer to himself as. And on his fifth birthday, he got a real horseshoe from his cousins. When he opened up his gift, his eyes lit up and he said, "Awesome! All I need now is three more horseshoes and a horse!"

Me, A la carte

Mindi...
*does not see the logic behind Costco closing at 6pm on SATURDAY.
*loves Red Robin. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Or is it Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I can't tell.
*didn't like "The Poisonwood Bible". Except for the reason behind the name. That was good.
*did, however, like "The Help".
*loves this cool fall weather. No humidity. Ahhhhh.
*is ready for school to start. And for my big break.
*doesn't feel so overwhelmed here anymore. (!!)
*is starting to feel like she actually does live here, instead of visiting.
*loves her house.
*needs to quit leaving painting projects 3/4 done.
*does not have a winter jacket. (Admit it. You wanted to know.)
*is starting a new trend: redneck chic curtains. a.k.a. bedsheets. (Extra points for prints. Extra, extra for outdated prints.) Cheap, your neighbors will enjoy them, they immediately change the value of your house and your neighbors. What more can you ask for? (We're going green)
*laughed when her daughter looked at the redneck chic curtains and asked, "Mom, when are we getting bar stools?" She must have liked the new trend. Don't blame her.
*got rear-ended by a grocery cart today. True story. She has the dent to prove it.
*thinks the aforementioned dent officially transformed her minivan into redneck chic. Now she just needs the mullet and she'll be set.
*knows she's a trendsetter.

The gift

There is really nothing more important to say (for me) at the moment than this:

My cousin has a daughter who is very young. Eight or nine? (Obviously, I'm not close with them. I guess that is how life is.) Back to the story. They found a tumor in her brain a while back. Their family dealt with each little trial that came with it. (I get my info via the Caringbridge site and my dear aunt.) An amazingly strong family, I would have to say. Last spring, the tumors were so big that there really was not much more that could be done for her.

As a parent, I cannot even fathom this. And I don't want to try, it makes my heart so heavy.

Last month, they went in for an MRI. The tumors are gone. Nothing there. The tumors are gone!!! It's nothing short of a miracle. She was on medication that was supposed to slow the growth of the tumors, not shrink them. God has blessed them with two things: time and hope. Without hope, time feels dark and desperate. And this little girl and her family can reclaim happiness. There's nothing better than that.

Kaija-bear

Lets talk, turkey.

A common sight around here, after buying Archie's off Ebay.

Why did God give me so many girls? Tutus.

Yeah, baby.

The answer to the question:Can one over-accessorize?