(Izzy and her microphone. She is playing and singing "God Bwess Amewica". Oh, how I love that girl.)
We got a piano. I was against the idea. At the moment I am thankful, because it is occupying these two. Anything that occupies Kaija is my friend. And maybe my girls will become pianists. That would be fun.
Why am I against the piano idea? Well. To be completely honest, it isn't the piano at all. It's what it represents, in my mind. It represents a permanence. We're filling our too big house and will make it hard to downsize. We recently found out that our dream of moving to the Mqt area within the next couple years isn't realistic. And I'm heartbroken. I didn't realize how much I had counted on it, until it was no longer an option. I never said I wasn't wishy-washy. I realize that I thought this would be the place for us. Turns out, no. We've got some really wonderful people in our lives here, but have come to realize that nothing can really replace family. I'm so homesick for our families that I can hardly stand it. We have missed out on so much already. Mqt wouldn't be home, but it would be so much closer. We'd see our families more often. Being as it is so close to my original home, it serves as a perfect meeting point with my family. And, I have so many more aunts, uncles and cousins there. And. My only grandparent left on this earth, my Gramma. I have a sense of urgency in spending time with her. I feel like I have pacified the gypsy side of me and am ready for something permanent. Or. Maybe not, since I'm ready to move again.
Don't get me wrong, if we can't move, we can make this work. And probably learn to love it here. We actually do like it here already. It could probably become home. But I feel a sense of urgency with this, too. At this point in my life, we need to get to where we are going. Soon my kids will grow roots. Wherever their roots are planted will be home for them. And when they get older, finish school, get married- whatever they do, they will most likely end up "back home". And where they settle will be our home base during our retirement years. Do we want it here, so far from our "home"? As long as we have each other, I guess it doesn't really matter where we are.
Maybe this is exactly the way things are supposed to be. Maybe we'll have better than what we wish for. All we need is a little faith and let things fall as they may. It's just hard for my heart to remember that.
9 comments:
I love that girl too. Wish I could listen to her playing the piano and singing.
Sigh, that's a bummer that you wont be able to move to Mqt. You never know, maybe there is bigger and better things on the horizon for you guys.
I would love to have your family closer though. :)
settling down is supposed to be a good thing, isn't it. but, aren't we *not* supposed to 'settle' for anything less?!
you *are* grown up, and you are blooming where you are planted! i think it's just in one of those really huge planters. a MOVEable planter ;)
is this sounding preachy and know-it-all-y? sorry. i was intending to sound encourage-y.
mindizzle...wishing you the hook you desire on which to hang your super foxy hat. (you know, cuz home be where you be hangin yo hat)
"sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers (wishes)"...sometimes you end up where you were supposed to be and it may be the last place you expected.
We are glad you are here...and if you need to meet all those hundreds of 2nd cousins here to feel like you have family, I'll start introducing you.
I know we're not the "family" you were referring to but I hope that we can fill a little bit of the lonesomeness...hang in there, Mindi!
A-bomb: :)
E: You are never preachy. Is that even possible? Moveable planter- ha! Love that.
Suz- YOU are the closest thing to a sister that I have here. I love you and your family with all my heart and when I think about moving away from you- it makes me REALLY sad. We were planning on packing you up with us! You made my eyes all misty. I know you understand all of the emotions I experience. It's good to have someone that understands.
okay, have to clarify...it was me (Sue) not Suz that posted...but if you want to pack up my family as well, I might let you take some of them, for a little while;)
Sue- Ha! Blond moment, apparently! :) It's been really fun getting to know you. Like I have said: There are some really wonderful people here. And you happen to be one of them. Then I reread what you wrote and my eyes are misty again. I'd definitely pack you and your family up, too. Lets face it: my kids would insist on that! Of course, if we ended up in Mqt- I have a feeling you might end up in the neck of the woods some day too.
just didn't want you to mention "misty eyes" to Suz and have her think you were off your rocker.....
I wish that I lived closer to you but I must admit that I enjoy hearing all your adventures!
Kristy
Love to you. I can see how the piano represents permanence (is that even a word? It looks made-up). Hopefully it'll be an option to move in a few years + one and if so, put the bugger on Craigslist for free! Although, your kiddos look adorable playing it so maybe it'll move with you. Whatever the future holds for you, I hope you'll get the time you need with your family. <3
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