A home of my own.

I live in Michigan. Even after almost two years, that still doesn't feel like the truth coming out of my mouth. I know it to be true in my head. Yet, it still feels more comfortable, and exotic, to say "I live in New Mexico". Despite that, I do. I live in Michigan. And I feel like I do. Even if it feels foreign when it tumbles from my mouth.

I realized this when we turned onto our road after the long road trip from MN. I thought to myself "Whaddya know! I feel like we actually live here. Like it's familiar. I'm breaking this shoe in." It may not be the familiar that I experience when we pull in to the Twin Cities and a part of me is begging to get out and hug the ground, allowing the feeling to seep into my pores. Like I'm finally home! But, familiar like I am edging closer to my own fridge, my own shower, more than a suitcase of clothes, my own space. I'm finally to my house home. Some day I want to have a home home. More importantly, I want my kids to know a home home.

Perhaps it's the fact that I've developed the circles that I've come to realize I need in my life: a circle of close friends, a family circle, that medley of friends that provide the various things I need in my life, the women whose husbands work in the same field as mine and therefore understand any struggles and sacrifices, a work circle, church circle, my blogging circle, all those really important circles. I need them. And even without one, life isn't as full as it could be.

I'll be honest, I've struggled with settling in here. It's been a wild ride. Sometimes I've liked it, sometimes I've hated it. I've tried not to talk about it too much on here, because I realize I could offend and I didn't want to do that. Because it's not about the who. Well, in a way it is. If my family was here, I'd be happy to make this home. Still, it's not about those of you who are not my family. It was more of a "if this isn't going to be a beautiful, adventurous (as in mountains and other exotic-to-me sights) place to live, than I might as well live by my family" type of thing. In all honesty, I just needed to get over it. There is no perfect place. And this is where I was placed and I should be thankful for what I do have. Which includes a job that I love. And if I really think back, New Mexico really became home when I got a job. Next time (if there is a next) I move, I'll be wiser and find myself a job. Something for me, as soon as I feel like I've done all that I can to help my kiddos settle.

I gotta be honest: upper and lower may as well be two different states considering how different they are. Regardless of the upper/lower thing, I'm back in the state that I was born in. I've gone full circle. And my circle is full. It's a good life.