...than a wet hen.

Excuse my French in the previous post. I won't apologize- it's a fraction of how I felt.

I'm not scared. I'm not anxious. Or sad. Or overwhelmed. Or nervous. Or bewildered. Or, or, or. I'm mad. I know the lingo. I know the different positions you need for x-rays for hips. I know the angles a good hip should have. I can look at an x-ray and tell you whether your baby has hip dysplasia or not. I know the different types of braces, casts, etc. I know the different ways hips can be corrected. I know I can do it. I can make it through. I don't even care that people stare- they are just curious. (btw: feel free to ask people what's wrong- we don't get offended) I don't care that I have extra steps in changing my baby. That doesn't bother me.

I'm mad because I don't want to have to buy clothes and dress my baby around a brace. I'm mad that the cute little summer clothes I just bought aren't going to work. I'm mad that I can't just carry my baby on my hip as easily as all the other mommies do. I'm mad that I can't just snuggle with my baby without a brace between us. I'm mad that it will be to uncomfortable to fall asleep with my baby in my arms after feeding her in middle of the night. I'm mad that my baby can't fit in the normal baby things (exersaucers, strollers, etc.). I'm mad that I can't just go out to the park with my baby in the summer, because the brace will make her sweat too much. But, mostly I'm mad because I have to watch my little baby learn to crawl and walk with a brace hindering her, although she won't think it is.

I'm mad- that's what I am. I don't want to have to do those things. But I will because it means my baby will lead a better life.

Not fair.

@#%*!!! My baby has hip dysplasia. Third one in a row. That's not fair. I'm going to have a temper tantrum now.

Explanation:

According to my dictionary, an opinion is: 1. a view, judgement, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter. 2. a belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge.

An opinion is not a fact. It is how you think and feel. Period.

I'm just tired of people preaching to "be nice" and then not doing the same. Yes, we should. No doubt. But it's a double standard. Why can't these same people preach that to the people who have the same opinion as them? I remember a particular political discussion on Facebook where a person who opposed my view was lashing out, saying the people who disagreed with him were "uneducated, uninformed, not compassionate...". The person who started this discussion sat by and did nothing. However. When someone with my shared beliefs said something along those lines, that person was called out on it. Double standard.

Can we please stop calling people names? And picking apart the most ridiculous things? Really? Just because we have a difference of opinion? Are we that petty? BE NICE. Everybody.

That's all I have to say about that. I think.

I love to hear those stories about people down to their last dollar with no food in the house. Then they come upon some money that wasn't expected. Well, it can happen in other ways, too. I got the sweetest email with a huge compliment today from an old friend of my younger sister. Just when I needed it.

I'm gonna do it. I'm bringing up politics. Later. When I can do it calmly and nicely.

Oh, and did you notice? I opened my blog back up to public. I don't like it being private. I'll probably switch again some day. That's how I roll.

Tomatoes and a new career.

So there we were in church on Good Friday when Zane got called into work. Yep. Halfway through. I proudly rounded up my kids from various benches and made a grand exit out of church. Lesson learned: sit in the back so that we don't make a scene if and when it happens again. Zane's ears and my face were various shades of red the whole 40 or so minutes of our drive home that night.

And today. Not embarrassing, but it sounds about right. I just paid the water guy $50 to come out and see what was wrong with our water softener. Turns out, a lever was in the wrong position. $50 to hear that. Sweet. At a rate of $50/min, I think I need to get into the water softener business.

Sometimes you just have to laugh, dontcha?

Then came evening.

I feel like a fraud. Yesterday's post was so joyful, almost gag-me joyful. At the time, I was. But it was short lived. I think the stress and busyness of the last couple months had started to come down on top of me. Picture me standing in a tent as it starts to cave in. Madly trying to hold it up. I got it back up, just a little cock-eyed. I actually said, "Ha!" out loud as I stood completely overwhelmed and thought about my overly happy post earlier in the day. The truth of the matter is that I do love the things that I said I love. I just have a lot of small, medium and large things piling up that I don't love. Gah. Life's never perfect, is it? I'm feeling a little more even keeled today.

The remedy? I held my (happy) baby in my arms while having an adult and much needed conversation with my husband yesterday. Turns out, he's feeling as out of sorts as me and that's unlike him. In a weird way, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only that feels "piled up on". So does he. It's nice to have someone to trudge through things with. Misery loves company, after all. You can join us if you want. ;)

Home Sweet Home.

Everything happens for a reason. And it makes complete sense to me why we didn't end up in MI four years ago. Like I had hoped. We took a little detour that changed our life and outlook. And collected up some wonderful friends and memories along the way. (Even C & M and D & S. They wouldn't have meant as much to us as they do, had we not met them so far from here) I am forever thankful for that. And with that priceless opportunity tucked securely in our hearts and minds, we have finally landed ourselves here.

In a place that fits. This is home. This is what I've been waiting for. And, hopefully, it's been waiting for us. Never before have I ever felt like I was in it for the long term. Now I do. I hope this feeling never changes. I really do. I'm not saying that I won't get antsy in a few years hoping for a change. I think it's in my blood, the need for change. However, I hope it's not a moving type of change, because Zane and I both agreed we aren't leaving anytime soon. This is a perfect compromise for both of us. We both got a lot of what we were looking for in a home and surrounding area. Maybe I'll just have to remodel my house or something like that. ;)

I love my house. I love our land. I love our neighbors. I love our friends. I love how even strangers welcomed us with open arms. (thank you!!) I love being close to the church I grew up in. I love seeing people from my past, even those who I haven't seen or thought of in years. I just love it. I hope I always do. And. I love having the internet again. *giggle*

*happy sigh* I'm a lucky girl.